To rant

They say ranting relieves pressure. I say gibberish is a stress reliever. But I'll still take a rant.

Everyone gets to a point where they feel forgotten, right? I've been feeling so constantly. Perhaps because no one in my family seems to understand what an introvert is and likes to shove me about in places and situations that only amount to a pounding head and great terror. I'm different, they don't understand it. Hiding in my room for so long all the time? What could be going through my mind? They don't like it. I'm broken, wrong. I must be fixed. Unfortunately for me, it amounts to all ranges of hell. So maybe not forgotten in existence, but no one clearly pays enough attention to realize I'm running lost.

It seems as though every day gets worse--I can't even be around six people talking without my vision fading and my ears ringing oppressively anymore. And the response from my friends? Scolding for not attending a party.

At the same time, though, I don't want to be left alone entirely. Is it only those extremes though? A party where I may combust or nothing at all? A friend I've helped in Chemistry all throughout the year (I took AP, she was struggling with regents) is having a group of people help her study for her final. I'm not one of them. In the whole scheme of life, it really isn't anything, but I feel forgotten. Or inferior, maybe. After all, with my other friend I'm hardly needed. No one ever is.

Maybe I'm just in a bad mood. I mean, really, what else am I mad about today? Tuna. Of all things, tuna. I was hungry yesterday, I hadn't had a proper meal at all and so I was trying to make a sandwich after I showered only to be informed my father was cooking a meal (that I had to wait another hour and a half for). So I had to stick the tuna I'd just made into the fridge. I'd eat it the next day, fine. Just let me be. (Of course, I fell asleep, tired after having to drive a drunk sister home at two thirty in the morning and being a bit of an insomniac as it is.) But today, where was my tuna? Oh yeah, on my drunk sister's plate.